Joanne Lockwoodhost
Hello, everyone. My name is Joanne Lockwood and I'm your host for the InclusionBites podcast. In this series, I will be interviewing a number of amazingpeople and simply having a conversation around the subject of inclusion,belonging and generally making the world a better place for everyone tothrive. If you'd like to join me in the future, then please do dropme a line tojo.Lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. That'sthe S-E-E Change Happen dot Co dot UK. UK. You can catchup with all of the previous shows on iTunes, Spotify and theusual places. So plug in your headphones, grab adecaf and let's get going. Todayis episode 21 with the title plantinga seed of kindness and understanding. And I havethe absolute honour and privilege to be joined by Ryals.Ryals described himself as a boy from a small town in Ukrainewho had big dreams and refused to listen to anyone who told himotherwise. When I asked Ryals to describe his superpower,he said, being connected directly to the source ofenergy that his body is producing.Hello, Ryals. Welcome to the show. Good morning,
Ryalsguest
Joanne. It is my pleasure to be here today. Yousaid grab a decaf. I would grab coffee,just regular and tonnes of it, because it's still 09:30 inthe morning in New York and I definitely need some coffee towake up. I am so honoured to behere and to meet you. Cheers.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Cheers. Todaywe can't hit Starbucks. We got to make our own today, haven't we? We haveto still lock down. Today is actually the first day in New York
Ryalsguest
when it's a bit cloudy and the weather dropped to 13degrees celsius, which has made us even closer. Idon't know how it is in UK right now, but itfeels very autumn. It's been a bit of a mini
Joanne Lockwoodhost
heat wave. We're about 22 degrees over here at the moment,which is what? I'm not sure what that is in fahrenheit, but ineuropean measures, it's about 22 and it's actually quitenice for middle of September. Yeah, very good. Nice. All right,
Ryalsguest
so we exchanged a little. We got you the heat wave and wegot. It's a very british
Joanne Lockwoodhost
conversation talking about the Weather. I know.A Ukrainian in New York. Talking about the weather with a Brit
Ryalsguest
I have prepared. So let's talk about the weather.I know, yeah.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Tell me, in the show notes, you putthis phrase in there, planting the seed of kindness and understanding. Sowhat does that mean to you? Where did that come from?
Ryalsguest
I'll start with my father. My fatherwas my stepfather, buthe raised me from when I was one and a half yearsold. And my father, he passed away in2013, but he was the onewho was that spiritual person inmy life who would always told me thingsso wisely and so subtlethat I think that was planting a seed inme, in that kid who did not understand what is hesaying? But in years that, see,would grow into a big, big tree and a big, bigforest. And I think he was the one who plantedkindness and love and compassion andempathy to the whole entire worldand to the people I know and to friendsand family. And I still recallhis words in every step of the way in my life.And, yeah, I thinkhe was the one. He was the one who started that process inme, turning that little boyinto a man with understanding.So I was growing up beinggay in Ukraine, growing up in thecloset, under thepressure of society and under the pressure of my ownfriends and family, whowould joke around with shame, notme, because I wouldn't let myself. SinceI was 13, I said to myself, no more.I have to create this shield. I have to beas straight as possible, I have to be assmart as possible, as wise as possible, as kind as possible to.Just by having this shield show peoplethat you're not going to get me, so you don'teven have to try.And the shield was growing over the years, over tenyears of my life, whenI would not recognise myself anymore.And I thought that this is me. Iguess I've shaded myself into who I am, even though this is acompletely different person. And now I'm havingtroubles with myself, troubles living my life,but yet I still had a dream to change it, to changemy surroundings, to change my life, because this is my lifeand I have to build it.That's when I moved to the United States andstarted my new journey, the journey of who Ireally am. And still with the wordsof my father in my heart, that you'll makeit, you're the kindestperson I know, and,yeah, that everything's going to be okay, even though you don't have theanswers now. Keep going. Carry on.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
That must have been a real moment inyour life when you made that decision to leave yourhometown, your family or your friends,and ship yourself offto New York, even though the world is asmaller place than it today, than it was 30, 40 years ago. That's still abig deal, isn't it? To go from one culture thatis significantly different to another culture, isn't it? Andalone, effectively, yeah, absolutely.
Ryalsguest
I don't know if that's the movies that shaped me, thatshaped my brain, that there is a better life somewhere,or just the longing inside that if I don'tbelong to this place, I'm sure there is a place on earthright now where I could find myself. And Ialways had know New York was like mynorth Star, that I would always seesomewhere. I didn't know what's behind it, I didn't know what's there, but itwas sort of a direction for me to go. Andwhen you have this direction, when you have hope in your heart, you can gothrough the most difficult experiences in yourlife just because you know that somewhere,you believe that somewhere, there is asolution, or you just have a sense of direction where you have togo. So when I was 18, my familyand Mia, we didn't have any money, any big money, so nobodywould even dream of flying somewhere, notmoving somewhere. And here wasme, 13 years old. Like, when I'm going tobe 18, I'll travel theworld. I'll be trying to move to America.I'll be in New York. I'll start my life. Andthat's where nobody,nobody would even think that that would be possible. Sonobody would find those words. You know, you just believe inyourself. You just carry on. Except my father,before very the end, we would have thatconversation and he would say how much he believes in me.But nobody until then was like, yeah, you're going to make it. Eventhough that seemed ridiculouslyhard, nobody would find a word toencourage that. So that's where you had toshape yourself into this strong person with selfmotivation, with seeingthat North Star, even in a cloudy day, just knowing it'sthere, even if you can see it now, you just know it'sthere and the cloud is going to move, and you're going to see it again.And when I was 18, I said to my mom,all right, well, I'm 18 now. In the summer, there's aprogramme called work and travel. I think I'm going to travelto the United States and see how it goes.And that's where my mom freaked out.She actually found out that that was real. She actually foundout that my words that I was saying and preparing her for five years,that they are real. And she cried. She started crying. She's like, what do youmean? How is it possible? Why?And I worked hard, a few jobsduring my university years, andI had a scholarship.So I just gathered all my moneytogether, borrowed some money, and was ableto pay for that programme. I still don't knowhow, but it happened. I just wanted it so much thatnothing could stop me.And there I am crying on the plane when we arelanding in the United States.Yeah. Facing new challenges. I think that will shape meinto a prison that I am right now.But that's where the journey beginsof me sort ofreevaluating my life andfinding a way to live your true life.And though it will happen five years later, but I think that wouldbe a hook in my brain that will start acompletely new process of thoughts.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Had you travelled much before or was this your firstventure across the Atlantic?
Ryalsguest
I think I travelled to Hungary whenI was twelve with the group of mydancing group. We attended a competition. That was myfirst abroad trip. And then,yeah, I think that was my first trip. And right across.And then I came back and I travelled a little aroundEurope, sort of with a backpack,hitchhiking. There was great experience. The cheapesthotels, the car from town totown, from Budapest to Vienna, from Vienna to Graz,from grads to Venice. It wasbeautiful. But yeah, myfirst trip was straight 9 hours on a plane.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Wow. So this is no, kind of like,this is going to be okay. I've done it before. This is like, literally packyour bag, get on the plane, see what happens.
Ryalsguest
There's this magnet that just like pulling you inand you're not resistant, you're just following it.Follow that. So you weren't going with any plan as such other than to
Joanne Lockwoodhost
land and see what happen? Oh, yeah. Well, I was
Ryalsguest
thinking, know, if I do it through the programme, I'll at least havea job and I'll have a place to stay. So I'm notcompletely lost because still being in Ukraine, you'rein the bubble and you are a kid.You're still a kid. You don't have muchexperience being abroad or dealing with, I don'tknow, paying the bills and finding places to stay or finding a jobin a different country. So I was a littlesecure about that. But I wanted to experience,how is it here? Who are those people?What do we eat? What do we say? What do we watch?So that was my first touch with theculture. And I met afamily by the pool. I worked as a lifeguard, I met afamily by the pool. I met a cat first. I met their catand she was three collar cat, just like Idid have at home. And then thiswoman appears in front of me and she's like, I really hope she will notbother you. This is Ginger. She will come to the poolvery often, will live right there. And she was the first customer,person that I met. Andhow many years later, seven years later, that ladywalked me down the aisle because my mom couldn't make it to the weddinghere. And Diane. Yeah,we are all connected now, we're all big family, butthat's how it all began. What amazing story. What an amazing
Joanne Lockwoodhost
story. So you would have been in Ukraine asa young person at the time of the revolution and the time, allthe trouble there because as I think I mentioned you earlier, I was inKiev last year, I think it was last year. Andjust hearing the stories and seeing what had gone on lessthan ten years ago, I mean, seven or eight years ago. So you're 25 now,you would have been 1718 at the time, would you?
Ryalsguest
Yes. Same year as I came back from the States. I think itstarted and I might be wrong, but November somewhere closeto winter. Yeah. First of all,it's amazing that you visited Ukraine. I hope youliked Kiev. I haven't been to Uk yet,but that's one of the dreams of mine. Definitely going tovisit you. Maybe we'll grab coffee somewhere. I'd loveto hope the pandemic is over by then.Yes. Revolution started sosudden, I'd say, but duringthat time we were attending university andthe independent square where everything would takeaction. It was right above the subway thatwe would goto study and a lot of the times they would justclose the subway because there is a chance that there is a bomb orsomething. So we would have to go around and findanother way to get home. But it wasscary for sure.People were on their feet, people were drivenby the force because it ishard to just make itthrough the life in poverty, inbeing suppressed and justwhen people have that drive even ifthey don't know completely what they're doing but theyjust know stand up on their feet and they're protestingbecause it's their lives and they want to change.That's when it happens. It doesn't happen often. You see that there'snot much changed in Ukraine and people are stillprotesting but it's not as big because a lot of us justgive up and be know I can make it through the day soI'll make it through the week. I can make it through the week and I'llmake it through a year. It's fine. That completely does nottouch me. I'll be justwas a, it was a big thing and Crimeawas separated from very, very beautiful place.Very beautiful place. I've been there also by myself,travelled. Amazing, beautifulplace. People juststopped going there as much as often.Now everybody's going to Odessa. Odessa is overwhelmedby so many.You know, whatever happen, happens. It's not alwaysin our power to change, but whatever we can, wecan. So my limited experience of
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Ukraine for my week long visit there.You've got the East Ukraine and West Ukraine, where theeastern side is more russian speaking, the western side is lessrussian speaking. And there's a kind of like an east west divide within Ukraineitself, isn't? Is there not?
Ryalsguest
I was sort of in the capital, right? I was a small town, right, besidesKiev. So my family was a russianspeaking family. I speak fluently Russian andfluently Ukrainian, and I don't like to mix them together asa lot of people do, and creating their ownlanguage, which is if you're not from Ukraine or you're learningUkrainian or Russian, you will not get. Sothere is two parts of Ukraine, as you said. That's correct. Butpersonally I did not feelthat the difference. Sort of like if you're in WestUkraine, yes, everybody's speaking Ukrainian, which is. It is Ukraine,so it is your language, you know what I mean? Andif you are in the east of Ukraine, everybody's speaking Russian,which I do speak Russian. We all speak Russian because Soviet Unionbroke up not so long ago. So our parents were still born there andobviously they spoke Russian, so they sort of liketook the position, okay, I know Russian. I'll learn Ukrainian, I'llspeak both. But this is the country and I'll respect that.So I'm sure there are people, as everywhere, probably in every country,where the point of view iscompletely different, and they will stand by it without the exception of oneanother, for sure.My friends and my family wasn't one of those people,thank God. So I cannot speak from the experience of theprotesting side. But yes, it isthere and it's part of the nation for sure.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
I was fortunate enough to go to Polandin Gdansk probably about 15 yearsago, and I had the immense privilege to meetLekvaenza, who is oftencredited for being maybe the start of the endof communism in some parts of Europe and instrumental inbringing down the Berlin wall and starting that movementand such an iconic figure. But to hear the storiesof people who are my friends in Poland, because I wentthere with some friends who lived there, they were actually part of thatsolidarity movement. They were imprisoned by the police,they were kept in solitary confinement,beaten, and people didn't know where they were. Thatwhole revolution experience, talking to my polish friends at the time wasvery powerful. But then to come to Kiev and hear thestories of Independent Square with snipers on the roof,learning about the people who are shot downjust in a crowd, these were just ordinary people out for the day, shopping orwhatever they're doing in a country thatI felt was so typicallyeuropean. When I visited Kiev, it seemed verywestern and normal to me, whatevernormal may mean. So it felt really strange to be somewhere where there'dbeen so much trouble and violence less than five or six years ago.And that really was powerful. To read the stories and see thecandles and see the photographs of those people who died that dayand see the legacy of the monuments in Independence Square,all the pictures of what was going on at those times,was immensely powerful. And I defy anyone to go thereand not feel the emotional connection with the stories.And it would take a very hard personnot to feel a tear or feel some sadness for what wenton. And it reminds us of that we live in thisworld where that still happens. It's still happening now in many countriesin the world. And it's not just.Even some of the more westernised countries have the same trouble. We have troublesin riots in America. There's still the black lives Matter,and still people are fighting oppression, aren't they all overthe. Of the.
Ryalsguest
One of the stories that we are trying to share, me and my husband, topeople even here, and to our friends and to our families,because as I moved to New York and a yearafter, when I moved to New York andpeople were asking, know, you're gay, right?I'm like, yeah.And it was so hard for me to overcome years and yearsof shame and suppression thatI think I would blush saying that, yes, I am likea child, because I think I was a child in this field. Iwas coming out so slow and learning to walk.And a year after, I thinkso much anger wasjust bursting out of me because I couldn't live alife that I sort of was given,that I had to comeout to my mom, to my brother, to my friends,and it was the hardest thing to do.But I felt like there was a wallthat was getting higher and higher between me and my mom because ofnot acceptance of me notaccepting myself, me not accepting my mom. And I felt like mom'snot accepting me. So I had to just break it downand make that wall to fall.So the last conversation we had, I was flying to California, watching the movielove Simon, which is, I thought,cliche. All right, he's coming out. So what? The jealousywas talking in me, and I watched this movie. Iwas completely crying, always crying on the planes. If you see me on a planeand I'm watching a movie, I'm going to cry, because it's always drama.I flew to see my friend in California, and I had a feeling,like, this is the day that I'm going to talk to mymom. We had a conversation. I couldn't saya word. And then we got into a fight again. And then I'm like,this is it. I hung up, and I'm like, we're not going anywhere anymore.I can't share my life with her. And my life isstarting booming here because I came out here andI'm living, and I'm being myself. And Itexted her, I need to talk to you. She's like, all right, call me back.I call her back. I facetime her andstarted crying little by little. I'm like, mom,as I would put it, people in Ukraine say you're not atraditional orientation,which she would say right away, what is traditional? I'mlike, okay, this is weird, hearing it from my mom. And then I'm like, mom,I'm gay. She's like, well, she said, youcannot change my life. I cannot change yours.And if you're happy, then she would go into aphase for a year, into sort of like back and forth. It's like, you know,you had such a nice friend, your girlfriend. That would be so nice if youwere guys together. I'm like, mom, I'm literally getting married.What are we talking about right now? But then she loves myhusband. She now never asks me, how am I? She's asking,how are you guys? How's everything?It's very sweet. Very sweet.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
It must be really magical for you, where all that apprehension, all ofthat nervousness, and then to find that almostundying motherly affection and acceptance must have been fantastic. I
Ryalsguest
know. And then I had to find an acceptance for myself again and notbe angry at the world and not be angry for all theyears that I've sort of lost and didn't haveschool dance with the person I liked or didn't have datesor didn't have whatever all the teenagers had.Still working on that, I think. But psychologists reallyhelped. I had to unbreak my brain completely because I said,I'm not moving forward. I've completelystopped. But still, it's beenthree years, and my life has changed. Completely.And it's almost easy to forgetthat you're living in New York in this bubble when everythingis, you know,acceptance wise,and you forget that you're still from Ukraine andthere's still no gay people. Some of them are coming out,but I know a lot of people that are gays and they're stillin the closet and will never appoint tothemselves as gay people. And that'sUkraine. That's the country I'm coming from. But what about72 other countries and 13 countrieswhere being gay is punishable by death?And countries where you're getting thrown into jailbecause you're gay and somebody will bethrown into a jail if they don't tell on you, if they know.And that's what we are trying to raise awareness about andcontinue fighting. Seeing it now, aren't we? In
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Poland, in Hungary,they're winding back regimes now wherelgbt acceptance was more positive. And nowPoland, there's an anti lgbt agenda, I thinkis Hungary, where it's anti trans legislation being put inBelarus. When they just accepted the amendments to
Ryalsguest
the. Where, you know, the marriageis only between a man and a woman, which wasalways there, but now they establish. So if you are married in another country andyou're coming back to Russia, you don't have anyrights, you don't have any spouse privilege. Andit's happening now, as we say, we live in2020 and it is happening everywhere.Something is happening when you would say, we're in 21stcentury and we've seen so much in our history, or we'velearned so much, and yet we still haveso much to learn and so much to do and so much to fight for.Unfortunately, no. For sure.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
When I went to Ukraine, I was nervous. Iused my western bias, if you like, assuming that it was going tobe dark, horrible, and I was going to be at risk.And I spoke to the conference organisers, I was speaking at a conferencethere and they assured me that, hey, now, this is Cosmopolitan, this is fullof this part of Ukraine, it's full of western companies, Facebookand Twitter and big companies like that. It'd be fine now, don't worry about it.And I thought, ok, and to be honest, when I was there, I had acompletely positive experience. There's a few timeswhere I had men walk straight throughme, but I think that's more of a sexism thing than anlgbt thing, where I was standing in a supermarket and I was expected to justget out the way of men as they walked past me or through meand I found that very much on the streets as you're walkingalong, there was very much a misogynistic attitude thatwomen get out the way of men and men are just coming through and theydon't even look at you. They just get out my way, sort of thing. SoI found that a bit strange, just kind of the attitude ofright of way, if you like, and I realised it's quite a maledominated kind of do as you told, sort offrom. Apart from those kind of little moments, I foundI had no concerns at all. I had a very similar experiencein Estonia, in Tallinn.I had complete acceptance there, speaking at conferences, talking to people.It wasn't an issue. But I am a bit nervous about evergoing to Moscow or back to Kadansk or even Budapest.I'm now thinking, do I put those on my no fly list?Because it's not a safe place to go anymore? Are.
Ryalsguest
Yeah, yeah, that's true. I am very happy that you had apleasant experience in Ukraine. Ukraine ischanging, for sure. The kids that weknow, it's a new generation that is there,the teenagers or preadults. When we were kids, they were much tougheron bullying and thank God it'schanging now. And I hope for the better, thatevery generation will bring somethingbright and delightful into the culture.But as we said, thateastern and western Ukraine still sort ofdivided. There was so much going on on theterritory of that know western wasalways Poland was fighting for that side, Russia was fighting forthat side, or russian empire before Russia itself. Andit was always a war, always divided.The World War I, world War two,everything was happening on that land andso many people and intelligent peoplewere killed. And here we are,left, sort of the slavesof the situation left anddecided, not decided, but wereforced to just live nowand develop ournations on our own. And we didn't have muchof a brain capacity, if that wouldbe smart. Because you mentioned
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Poland just there, and Russiafrom a UK perspective, we didn't learn much aboutEastern Europe history and the rise and the culturesin eastern Europe. But when I was in Kiev, I learned that Poland were effectivelyyour nemesis. They were your invaders.Poland were your old adversary, weren't they, from theright. Right. Never knew any of that. Yeah, that's what they taught us.
Ryalsguest
We weren't there, we couldn't see.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
It made me realise that we only hear the history that wehear. We don't necessarily get taught about rest of the world. Andso I'm living in this very UK educatedworld and I haven't learnt about the history ofmean. You can't learn everything. I appreciate. But it certainly made me realise thatI've got this very narrow view of the world that I seeand it makes me more hungry to find out about othercultures and about other people's history, to understand the livedexperience and why people experience the worldthey do. I guess this is how the world is getting divided by
Ryalsguest
not being hungry as we are to learn, butbeing stubborn and closed up in the opinion and justthe history and just the information they knowand they've learned just that much about thatpiece of the country or a piece of the world and they're standing by it,not accepting what was going on and what isthe opinion, for example, of the other country. Even if two countrieswere in war, what that country learned and the other one, it'sa completely different history. Soacceptance and one more time, acceptance into everything inour lives, for sure.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Let's talk about some of the happiest stuff in your life.How you're now spreading this, as you put it, this see, tobuild a forest of love and acceptance in the world. And you're doing that throughmusic, through dance, through your creativeside. Yeah, sorry, you mentionedyou were involved with the Eurovision Song contest. So youwrote some lyrics, is that right? That's correct, yeah.
Ryalsguest
I started writing songs since I was 13. I think that's themoment when you're creating a shield but you still have totalk it out. So you start writing poetry and you start writing songsand putting all your emotions in there andall your pain in there and it's sort of like your sacred place.And I was writing in Russian. When I was 16, I startedlearning English and I started writing in Englishand started writing for myself. Andwhen I was 18, when I was 19, okay,that was 20. When I was 20, I recordedalready two of my own songs.And then as I go on in 23, Ireleased an album of mine, scold state of liberty.And I was like, listen, I'm enjoying writingsongs. How cool that would be to write for somebodyelse and have somecompensation for it and also, whynot? And yeah, that wasone of the dreams of mine. And then in 2000,no idea, four years ago,sometimes 16, I departed on.I lended a job. Well, I fought for the job to be a dancer ona cruise line. And we travelled the world and we actually crossed theAtlantic once again on a boat. Incredibleexperience. And I was a dancer. I worked as a dancer in ashow on the cruise ship for seven months. And during that time, amanager of ukrainian artists contacts me. We sort of,like, met each other somewhere beforeand she's like, he's looking to recordsongs in English. Would you help him with writing lyrics?Like, oh, my God, absolutely, yes. And I think the firstsong was for Eurovisionfor the competition, but a year before he went.And ever since we started working with him, I amactually in the process of writing new lyrics for the new song ofhis. But he didn't make the club the first yearto the Eurovision, so he carried on withcreating an album and more music and more music. And I workedon most of the songs with him and then a year later,he's like, all right, we're going to try it again. Let'swrite another song for the Eurovision. And hedid an incredible job. I was happy to be apart of it. And he made the cut. He went toEurovision, put out a beautiful, beautifulperformance and made it to the finals.And all in all, it was great tosee our names together listed on the screenin Eurovision and him as a songwriter, meas a lyricist. It was beautiful,incredible. And Ukraine, I was here,living here already, and Ukraine was watching andscreenshotting everything. What was goingon there, like, oh, my God, did you write this song? Did you write thissong? I'm like, not the song lyrics, but yes. Thank you.It was wonderful. My grandparents were veryhappy. Because lyrics and
Joanne Lockwoodhost
songs are just a way of storytelling,telling future generations, telling the people who listen toyou, your truth, your story, your message. Andthrough that, you can spread love or hate or whatevermessage you want to share. And I'm hearingthat you're using your lyrics, your music, as a wayof empowering the younger generationto live more freely and to show more acceptance to the world.Is that what you're saying? Yeah.
Ryalsguest
This has been my goal since I startedwriting, but I still seenthis as a goal. But at the same time, I was dealing with my ownpain and my own experience that I had tonot outgrow, but experience and livethrough it. And now, as I'm 25, Ifinally have the feeling that I'vebeen there. I actually been there and I'mhere now. I've changed my life completely. I moved to the States, I'm livinghere. I got married, I came outand now I'm ready to not just speak mytruth, but also to encourage those kids asI was once. And when you are 13,the world is still so hard on you. When you're 25, the world is hardon you when you're 60, the world is hard, but when you're 13, you don'thave much experience to deal with it. And that's whereyou're looking for that, out there somewhere.And when I was 13, when I was16, when I was going through myfirst falling in love andbreaking out of love, but sort of breaking up, not even beingtogether, because I fell in love with the guythe first time and I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't knowwho to tell. I didn't know what to dowith the feelings that I'm experiencing. Andthat's where I got into one ofthe, I had two depressions in my life for ayear that time. And when my dad passed awayand that time I realised that if I don'tpull myself out of there,nobody's going to. That's where I was lookingfor anybody to tell me anything, that I'm just going to be okay.That's where Lady Gaga reallyhelped with her message and I appreciate her forthat so much. There were so manypeople that have been doing it, but who made it to Ukraine,who made the cut to be screen and being on theradio, and then when you google her content and whatis she saying? You hear that message and you know that,okay, so it is happening. It is truethat thepeople do not accept sometimes people, andthat's not okay, but it is what it is, but you stillcan make it and you can change your life for the betterand just keep going. AndI want to be one of those peoplewho, if there's going to be113 or 16 years old, who's going to listento my message once and that's going to change his life,I will be the happiest person on earth. BecauseI realised one thing, I'm 25 and life is better nowfor me. And I thought that life is better for everybody rightnow as just looking through my perspective, I'm like,look at that, 16 years old. He looks like he's got it. He's got itall. He figured it out. I couldn't. But it'snot true. It's not true. Some people didn't. Some people are stillteenagers that need a lot of help toguide them through untilthey're in a better place. So mymusic and my storytelling through music videos, whichwe finally, I'm so happy. We just shot onethis past weekend, which had a music video.And I'm continually working on moremeaningful and more storytelling songs,which my days is sort of abreakthrough for me. Completely different from State of Libertyalbum, which was based on me dealing withmy pain of lossin my days. It's sort of dealing with the world that wasthrown at me and I had to grow upand find my place. Now, the song thatI'm working on called great society,which starts with, I've been told all mylife there is no place for me to be. Things like me don'tsurvive in a great society. I have lived all mylife hiding for the sake of life hadno right to decide whether I had my right.I'll continue fighting for people because we areall the same at the core, and we all need help, and we allneed acceptance and love.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Yeah. The other lyrics you sent me was, weplan this life like there's tomorrow, like there's no injuries ordeath, like there's no room for sorrow like I'll kiss your face in themorrow. Subconsciously avoiding the mess. Verypowerful. Giving people inspiration thatwe got to try and look in the positive. We've got to be there foreach other. We got to avoid the negativesometimes and push forward with all the positives in life.
Ryalsguest
Yeah, absolutely.Even if we are making a change in ourlives, we still need a lotof help and a lot of support. So to bekind is the message, to be kindand to beempathetic. You never know what's going on witha person that's standing or sitting next to you.My mom actually planted that seed in me.She was telling me from the very, very beginning of my life,just imagine how would the other personfeel? And that message was so strong when I woulddo anything bad, and I will. Oh, myGod, that kid. Thank God for my parents. I don't know howthey dealt with me, but I was trying. I didn't know what the worldwas. I was just, like, having fun. And sometimeshaving fun doesn't mean you're not hurting anybody.And that's what I always say, you can do in your life whateveryou want as long as you're not hurting anybodyelse in any way.And yeah, she would always say, just imaginehow would other person feel? And it would plant sucha strong seed that grew into even a bigger forest ofcompassion that I would never onpurpose do anything to hurt anybodyin any way. Andthat gives me that ache for every personin the world on our planet, because we are all trying to makeit. We're all trying to survive, all trying to eat,to sleep in a warm placewhile trying to escape persecution in any way. We'reall just trying to be happy and to find a betterlife for ourselves. Because most of uslive in poverty, most of us tryingto make it from a paycheck to a paycheck, or evenjust trying to find where to get thatpaycheck, where to get that penny, where to get that dollar,to just feed your family. And mymom would always struggle, would always come back home, would alwayscount every penny, write thosebills, and lots of the time would cry,not knowing how to make it. And I onlyunderstood it. I saw it always, I'm like, mom, don't cry. ButI only understood it when I just moved to the states.And I knew if I don't make thedollar, I'm not going to be able to pay the rent. I don't have anybodywho's going to help me with the rent. So if I don't pay the rent,I'll be homeless in a country that is still new to me.If I don't make extra dollar, I will not eat. So mostof the time, I would get through the day just with one sandwich.And then I called my mom and I said, mom, Ifinally understand you. And I still do not understandhow still every night you go tobed thinking how you're going to feed your familytomorrow. So I try to help myfamily as much as possible, butit's most of us, it's a lot of people. Yeah.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
I was just hunting around on the Internet there, and I foundyour track my days and found it on Amazon music. Sweet. Areyou. I'm going to have to download that and listen to that.A. It's a big deal. You're a proper musicartist, aren't you? You've got a career. I mean, I lovein the COVID that artwork. Is that you withthe. I'm guessing it is you. I can see you in there.Yeah. So that's you with the clouds on your eyes. It is totally
Ryalsguest
me. Totally. Seen that idea somewhere.So I borrowed it, made it a littledifferent. But I love the skycovering the face. And,yeah, I had this idea and the track was alreadyready. I had to upload it to the Internet for it to come out ona specific date. And I told my husband John, I'm like,all right, could you please take a picture of me that's going tobe on the COVID of the song? He's like, sure. AndI put a lamp behind my back.I threw a napkin on it so it createdthis beautiful sunset colourbehind my back. Before the napkin got on fire, we tooka few pictures that I then cropped and editedand put a sky on my face and sent tomy friend who just wrote riled my days. Andhere he goes. I'm like, oh, my God, I love it.It's so nice. Just like, you just had a workout.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
You kind of got this nice sort of.
Ryalsguest
He's like, all right, you ready?My husband was like, you're ready? I'm like, wait, I needto spray myself. Yes.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
It's a great photo. It's beautiful.Yeah, I want to see the one without the clouds now I want to seethe full shot. So we have to send me that one. Yeah,
Ryalsguest
put it in the show notes. You've got big
Joanne Lockwoodhost
plans. This is just the beginningof your music and dance career and songwriting career. Soif you've got big ambitions, I mean, I know you've got bigambitions. You've upsticks and fled across the world,arrived in New York, you're not going to be beaten. Sowhat's your mission? Are you working with record producersor shows? I appreciateCovid and lockdown has probably put a bit of a dent on it for awhile, but what are your ambitions? Are we going to see you headliningwith Lady Gaga at some point? Oh, my God, that'd be a dream.
Ryalsguest
I would just like to meet her, to tell her, thank you verymuch for guiding a lot of us through.Oh, my God, I'm going to have tears on my eyes.I had my dance and singing career, orjust my life since the very beginning. I was very artsy. Iwould sing from since I was like four. I would have concertsand my dad's work. Iwould come, my mom would put me on a chair and everybody would stop workand I would sing a whole concert of 40 minutes to everybody.And then I was singing anddancing at twelve, as I said, we went toHungary for a dance competition. Then after school,I enrolled into art academyto get my acting degree, degree inacting and as an acting teacher aswell. Then Igot into musical theatre in Ukraineand was there for two years.Then I embarked on this journey on the boataround the world, dancing, and they heldthe rehearsals in New York. So it was agreat comeback. After three years, I came backand then I came back home. I recorded the whole album that I alreadyput together on the ship. I'm like, all right, this is the time I haveto take this first step as a recording artist because Iam in my head for ten years, but I have to actuallydo it. And then threemonths I'm recording an album and then I'm departing oneven bigger journey because I'm going to New Yorkand see how thatknow so much have happenedduring my life already. Before that, I was always in a rush.I was always trying to get out of where I was. I was tryingto make my life more realfor me and not hiding behind anything anymore.And dance and sing and act and dance and sing and act andalways switching cultures, switching countries, switchinglanguages, like switching surround peoplethat surrounding me, friends and family, not that I've switched completely,but now they're behind 7 hoursahead of me. So we're always on the phone.And that's where I had to start working with thepsychological because I just said to her, this isa lot. I don't evenknow what my dream is anymore. I think I've just ran sofar that I don't know where I am. So for two years,I sort of, like, took a huge break from everything artsy.I was just trying to survive and working lots of jobsand getting to know the culture and people andmaking that feel like home from scratch.So as I started working with the psychologist, I started workingwith music consultant from Nashville.I said to him, listen, I haven't done anything in two years.This is me. Here I am. I've been writing some music, butI don't even know what to do with it anymore. And I started working withthe psychological at the same time. And I said, I don't know what my dreamis anymore. And it's been fourmonths, and I have never feltso good becauseI see my dream again. I established myselfas a person on the other side, sort of. I'm not the person who needshelp. I'm the person who can give help. Either it's a word,either it's some financialfundraising that my husband does such a good job with thatbecause we partnered withRainbow Railroad organisation that wemet about a year ago.Organisation located in Canada,has some office here in the States,and they help LGBTQI people escapepersecution physically. They tryingto get them a visa. They trying to get them a flight ticket.They trying to help them to establish themselves in anothercountry. They constantlyneed money, constantly. Because totransfer one person from a country to a country,it's a minimum, $13,000 aminimum. And they receive so many letters with, please,I need help. I don't know how to carry on with my life.And I found myself that, yeah, this is it. I havechanged my life, and now I can try andhelp somebody else. So this wherethe music is not just spilling out my emotions.That's where the music is, the voice of me andof many, many other people that feelthat. They don't express it in music or words, but they feel that.And I want to be the voice ofus, of those people, of all of us.So that's where the music became my voice now. Andnow I know what to do with it and where to go. SoI'm very blessed, very happy to work on the music again.My days was out a few weeksago now we shot a music video. Now we are recording greatsociety and we'll put together the ep,hopefully by winter, and there's so many more plansfor spring with new musicand hopefully the pandemic will be oversoon. So partnering withGab organisation, which is generation against bullying,me and a few other artists will depart on a schooltour around the country and performingand talking to kids aboutkindness and love and support and nobullying allowed. Amazing
Joanne Lockwoodhost
helping. Any suicidal thoughts. And,
Ryalsguest
yeah, there's so much to do.Husband always say so much to.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
So you must look at your life today versus thelife in Ukraine that you could have had. Andthere's no comparison really, is there? I mean, you must loveyour parents, your family, your country of birth, where you're brought up, that culture,but you've gained so much acceptance inAmerica, in your new life that this must bereal hard for your brain to sort of say to still love yourcountry because you're so embraced where you are now and you can't necessarily be yourselfat home, can you? Or your birth, right?
Ryalsguest
Yeah, that's something I talk aboutwith my psychological about because my firstsessions were. Sorry for sharingvery personal things. My first sessions were, I'mlike, I couldn't find mylife in Ukraine and whatif know, I will not becomplete person as well because my family is there.How does it work? Where does one find peace?I was very confused.I think I found peace. I think I'm very happy with myfamily being there with me being here.Cannot wait to visit them. Absolutely. I think that would bea new phase in my life when we are seeing each other andI'm seeing my friends and definitely,but I went through so many phases in my life where asgrowing up. So you're that 13 years old boy and you do not understandwhy the whole world is against you, which the wholeworld is your country and your surroundings. You don't know anyother experiences, so you do not understand. So I washating my country, I was hating people. I had so muchhate that I just did not understandwhy. Just literally the question why.And then I've come to realise, I think afterI visited states and I came back and my dad passed away and that wasthat year of grief. And as I was coming out of thatdepression, year of depression, I realised I don't hate mycountry, I think it's all for a reason.I think that is making me stronger. Thank God it didn'tbreak me, but it is making me strongerand it's time to move on. I'm thankful forall the experience and how I grew up because maybeI appreciate other experiences now more.And here I actually do have theopportunity of be myself andbe the voice, because honestly, I don't know ifI personally, me, would be able to do it inUkraine. Some people do, some people do not. AndI'm very, very proud and happy for people who can because they're evenmaybe stronger than me.They fighting in the zone of warand I'm fighting from sort ofa safe place, let's say. But I had togain this feeling of safety to be ableto carry on with my message.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Yeah. So through love, through peace, you're spreading your message rather than througharms and struggle. Yes. So yours are more peaceful.So not only have you found peace, you found a passion and you found apurpose to your life that you didn't have before. Soall those things come together to make life have meaning foryou. You're absolutely right. Yeah. I always had
Ryalsguest
a feeling that once I'll be thevoice. I'm 14, I'm 15, once I'll be theVoice, I'm sure the pain that I experience,a lot of people do, but I couldn't. I couldn't because Iwas in pain. And if you are in pain, I don't think youcan help somebody unless you overcame it and youhave the word of kindness to say you're goingto make it too. It's not going to be easy, but you're going to.We all do. Yeah. You need
Joanne Lockwoodhost
to remove your own pain to a certain point before you can help others, becauseyou're not careful, you end up mixing yourpain with their pain. You've got to kind of be in that comfortable position whereyou find yourself first before you can help others. Yeah. Sothis small town boy from Ukraine,a Harry Potter fan,ended up in New York, living the dream,writing music, having a song as partof the Eurovision. This must be kind ofat the age of twelve or 13, you couldn't have predicted everythingyou've had. You may have found you wanted it, but you couldn't see ituntil you did it, could you? Yeah, that's true. And then. That
Ryalsguest
is absolutely true. And when you did it or we doit, then you're looking back at that boy at 13,and then you tell yourself, oh, my God, wait,so I am living a dream, despiteall the struggle, despite anything that life throws at you? It islife, but you are living a dream.Yeah, that's true. It's your life, nobody else's. And
Joanne Lockwoodhost
you've taken control and owned it, and you're doing it for yourself,for the benefit of others as well. Yeah. So youstill got family back in Ukraine? Do you have brothers orsisters? I have a younger brother. Yeah, he's 20 now.20, wow. Is he going to follow youor is he finding his own life in Ukraine? Has he got his ownmission? I think he is right at the moment
Ryalsguest
of figuring out whatis the position in life he's going to take what is hislife. Because he was13, I was 18. He was 13 when dad passed away.Yeah. And we are different.Definitely. I cannot compare our lives at all. I wishhim the happiest life ever,but he going to have to create it on his own. And I'malways there for him to help him, tomotivate him as much as I can. Every day, anytime, anytime, love himto death. But I think right now he's at the momentwhere he has to work. He is forced to work becausethere's no money. So you have to have money, butyou're still 20. You're just 20, and the whole lifeis ahead of you. And I just want to plant that seed in his headthat you don't have to work that work. You can try a milliondifferent jobs before you find yourself. Because he found thatwhat he does right now, it's not exactly the purpose of life and it doesnot make him happy.But he needs to expand hisbubble to see other experiences, to seeother countries and people and everything,and then decide what he wants to do. It doesn't haveto be if he cannot do it otherwise, like, Iwant to do this and I'll pursue it, then try a million things and then.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Pick one that's so powerful, you can have amillion different jobs. You can have a million different lives. That is so true. AndI think often we're told we have to make adecision and stick with it. Actually, no, we can try something outand say at any point, I'm free, I can change, I don't need tobe living by some rule. I can find my own freedom, findmy own direction. So that's very powerful. It's a great takeaway.
Ryalsguest
It's the hardest to do when the only people thatinfluence you are your parents, because you're still littleand your parents tell you that. Finda job, make money, be safe,stick to it, don't change anything. And when you grow upwith that, every day, you're hearing that, of course your body is going to belike, wait, so is that true? Do I have to live by that truth? Whatif that does not make me happy? Do I still have to stick to it?And it's hard. Even if you have a person or you find a person whotells you otherwise, you actually can follow your dreams, you actually can dowhatever you want. If you don't have a dream, you'll find one. But look forit. Don't go forless. If it does not make you happy. If it does, oh, pleasestay. Like, you don't have to feel pressured that you have to do everything inthe world. If staying in a small town, doing a small thing,makes you happy, please do. That is incredible. Ifit does make you happy, don't feel pressured. Never.I always. Your version of happy is the important thing. You're happy
Joanne Lockwoodhost
with what you're doing. Ask yourself, what is it
Ryalsguest
that's making you happy? And thenI said, don't listen to other people who tellyou otherwise. It helped me.People will tell you always only something fromtheir own perspective, from their own unaccomplishmentor their own jealousy or something. Peoplewho made it, actually, or people who are happy going to tell you,just do what makes you happy. They're not going to tell you,stick with one job. They're not going to tell you, youhave to do something. I think when you
Joanne Lockwoodhost
meet someone who's truly happy, you don't always realise that that personhas been unhappy a fair few times to find out what makesthem happy eventually. And that you don't always find happiness firsttime. But you've got to have the strength and courage tokeep exploring your own happiness and to keep looking forit. Don't settle if it's not making you happy,but you're right. When you find it, enjoy it.Be there. Yes. Definitely
Ryalsguest
realise that that's the thing that makes you happy.Keep it until it does. If it doesn't, carry on,don't be afraid doing it. Get on that plane. Get on that plane.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
Please find a new life. Pleasedo. Well, we've spent over an hourtogether before the show, we were chatting away as well. And no doubt we'llprobably chat some more before we hang up. But I mean, that's been amazing. It'sbeen really great to get to know you, to learn aboutthe person, the man behind the text, thewords, the songs. I found your website,which is riles official. It'sRyals official, and I've just beenon it. I'm having a look. It's got your album cover there or your songcover. You can listen to the track and you can downloadit, buy it, got behind the scenes so people can find out more aboutyou as well. And it's some great stuff there. So, yeah,if you're listening, visit milesofficial.com. It'll be in the shownotes. And you're big on Instagram as well. Have you got anInstagram account as well? Yes, it's Ryals
Ryalsguest
official as well.Made it clear my friend was joking about it. It'slike, oh, you're official now.Totally am. Ryals, that's your married name. Is
Joanne Lockwoodhost
it official? Is your married. Oh, yeah, now it's all official.
Ryalsguest
It's not playing around. Yes, please findme on Instagram, and if you have any questions orjust want to share your story, please do. I always try to answereverybody. I love getting to know new people,and I have so many peoplearound the world that started as like, oh, hi, Ilove your pictures, too. Right now it's like,how's your career going? I'm asking them or they're asking me, and just like,chatting about life and their experiences, their painso much. And we are so different, but sothe same. It's crazy how we are. And if we speak thelanguage of love or kindness, we're totally the same and going through the samethings. And I love, love getting to know peoplefrom each and every part of the worldthat makes it so our huge planet, cosy andsmall. Looking at the website,
Joanne Lockwoodhost
I mean, there's some really powerful photographs of you on stage,some beautiful lighting, beautiful costumes,and you look incredible in all of them. Thank
Ryalsguest
you. If nothing else, go and just cheque
Joanne Lockwoodhost
out Ryan's abs.
Ryalsguest
Oh, my God. Thank you. It's some great shots there.
Joanne Lockwoodhost
So, yeah, listen to the music, follow biteson Instagram and cheque out Ryles website. There'ssome great artistic talent there. It looks like you've been incats or something because you're wearing a furry suit in one of theshots.There's some great stuff there, so go and cheque it out. So Miles, thankyou. Thank you. Thank you, audience. Thank you forlistening. Thank you for staying with us.A huge thank you for getting this far.It's been inspirational for myself. So if you're listening, pleasedo subscribe to keep updated on future episodes of the inclusion bitespodcast. That's B-I-T-E-S. Tell your friends, tell your colleagues,and ask them to subscribe as well. I've got a number of otherexciting guests lined up that surely be equally inspired by over the next fewweeks and months. And of course, if you'd like to be a guest, if you'relistening in, you'd like to take part, then please do. You don't have to bea global music superstar to come on the show. You couldhave a dream, you could be finding your happiness and you want to share that.So I welcome any suggestions or feedback you may have tojo.Lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.Co, UK. Tell me about future shows. Tell me how wecan improve. So, finally, all this to say is, myname is Joanne Lockwood and it's been an absolute pleasure to be your host todayfor this podcast. Catch you next time. Bye.
